Crotchety = crotch·et·y adj. Capriciously stubborn or eccentric; perverse.

We are a group of men, mostly retired, who have found a common interest » We Are Horny Fuckers.

As a group we share our interests, our treasures. At the same time, we hope visitors will find what we have to say interesting and maybe even a little humorous.

Who knows, maybe you'll like the men we find, get some inspiration from it, amd dig into your wallet and help out a group of Pensioners.

Meet the Crotchety Old Men Club Members

Seymour from Twink FeverOur latest member thinks he is the “Chairmen” of our little group, but we all know it is Goompa. Just don't tell Seymour (Daddy Sweet Tooth @Twink Fever) that.

Seymour won't tell us his age, but we all figure he's in the high '60s if not the early '70s.

Seymour is the more affluent of our little group, and he really is a sweetheart to us all. We do enjoy his tales of conquests, and the free dinners.


Garnett from Average Joe blogGregory ( Guy Next Door @ Average Joe blog ) is not quite retirement age, though he no longer works. It's a heart thing, but he's pretty well set up, thanks to his inheritence, and his own investments.

Sid thinks Gregory is going thru a mid life crisis, which is possible. I mean he still dresses like he is a teenager, and let me say, he sure doesn't look like one.

By the way, never call him Greg, because he'll throw a real hissy fit. He insists on "Gregory" even with Goompa.

Have to say though, he's got a nice little set up. Back of his house looks into three other houses, that he owns and rents out to some pretty good looking young men. Course he has a high turnover in tenants, but damn some of them are hot.


Fallon from Fuckable blogFallon along with Sunshine are responsible for this club, as much as Goompa is. Fallon ( known as Flaunt It ) was part of the dynamic duo that inspired us into getting into the Internet Game.

Now some of us get a little ticked off with him, because he thinks he's a gift to men, and honestly he isn't an Adonis by any stretch of the imagination.

Some of us may have poor eyesight but we can tell what's good looking, what's gorgeous, and what is just, not bad. Fallon falls between 'not bad' and 'good looking'.


Fred from Fuckable blogFred is a sex pig. I mean he is the black sheep of the group, and even Goompa is a bit hesitant in going out anywhere with Fred. The guy is simply incorrigible.

Never go for morning coffee with Fred, to Mickey Dee's. He will flirt with any of the attendants there, and some of them aren't impressed.

Truth is, Fred is rather crude too. Guess that is why he uses the screen name "Fornicating Fred" on his blog. Also explains why he teamed up with Fallon for their blog "Fuckable".

Kind of suprised Fred didn't team up with Larry, I mean they both flirt way too much, specially at Mickey Dee's.


Sammy from Raging Hormones blogSammy is the Geek of the bunch. He is the one who taught us how to use our fancy new electronic toys, and when you have nothing but left thumbs, that is no mean feat.

Sunshine does alright though, for a kid. Okay anyone under 40 is a kid to us, but he really is young, in College and has quite a good grade point average.


Harry from Fuckable blogHow Harry hooked up with Fallon and Fred is beyond us all. I mean he's an affable sort of guy, always bumming a ten spot or mooching lunch off one of us, but he is harmless.

Everyone has an Uncle like him, guess that's why he chose the screen name "Uncle Harry".

Truth is, he's a sweetheart. Wouldn't hurt a fly, but he's lonely. Guess that's why we all took him in.


Manny from Only Sex blogOur Manny is a recent addition at Only Sex blog. He's been friends with Sid for a long time, which in itself deserves a medal of Valor or something.

Thinking about it, he is more like a referee between Peter and Sid.

Kind of suits him, as he is rather old fashioned. I mean, he wears bowties still, and always wears dress pants and shirts with cuff links. Even when he's at the Center playing cards

By the way, he's not a very good bluffer when it comes to playing poker.


Barney from Glorious Inspirations blogBarney is a bit of a perfectionist. Ever since he got a camera as a young man ( a Brownie if you can believe it ) he's been enjoying snapshots of sexy men. In his professional life, he ran one of those Portrait Studios.

Barney will go through hundreds of pictures, and only pick out one or two, to focus on. He's very methodical about that, finding just the right photograph to set his imagination off.

He loves the detail, which is why he started his blog Glorious Inspirations, rather than join up with one of us, in a collabarative effort. Kind of why he calls himself Shutterbug.


The Founding Members

Grant of the Average Joe Blog Grant is the Senior member of our group. He is older than Father Time himself, who he happens to play every New Years at the Senior Center we all are members of.

Despite his advanced years, he likes to brag that he gets off every day, at least twice. He even manages to find himself a sexy playmate every week or so.

He says that for 35 years he taught hot young men, and now that he's retired, he can at least do more than just dream about them, which is all he could do for those long thirty five years as an Educator.

Grant likes to call himself "Goompa" from an old Jimmy Stewart movie, but I think it is a secret desire that he wishes he had grandkids. Course he'd spoil them rotten, if he did have any.


Peter from Only Sex blogPeter is our resident Pervert. Not that he is sick or anything, but he likes to try things, that make many of us tremble. I mean he really does like pushing the limits.

Sid likes to say that Peter talks the talk, but never walks it, but some of us wonder. I mean he has shown up at times with a few, shall we say marks.

Still, it is an odd partnership, between Peter, Sid, and now Manny at their collaberative blog "Only Sex". Makes for some interesting reading, and Peter has found some rather interesting men, even for us more conservative types.


Sid from Only Sex blogSid has an opinion on everything. Honestly the man is constantly telling us what we should do, why we should do it, and what other's should be doing. A real "Know It All" as Goompa says.

Still he is fun to be around, to see how he can hold his own with some of the more vocal Volunteer Workers at the Senior's center. I mean he really can wind them up, which is always worth a good chuckle.

When it comes to porn, he really isn't afraid to call it like he sees it. He has this idea of what a good porn scene should be. Maybe it is a bit too high of an expectation, but it makes for some interesting reading.

His screen name suits him "Skeptical Sid" but why he teamed up with Peter (and now Manny) at Only Sex baffles most of us.


Larry from Twinks blogLarry is the softer side of Fred. He isn't crude but damn, he is obvious about his desire, when some sexy guy catches his eye. Just ask the blond twink at Mickey Dee's.

Can be a bit embarassing, when out with Larry, but he is harmless. Problem with him is that you never know who will show up, the mature 68 year old, or the twenty something prankster and flirt.

Kind of why his nickname online of "Barely Legal" suits him so well, and why he set up the blog Raging Hormones.


Frank from Hooded Wonders blogUnlike Fred, Frank is very particular on the men that he enjoys being with, or dreaming about. He likes his men to be Uncut, which is why he calls himself "Foreskin Fan".

Now most of us aren't quite that particular as Frank, though Goompa & Seymour both do lean to favoring selecting uncut young men. Course, that doesn't preclude them from enjoying those who are circumsized. It does for Frank though.

In order for Frank to enjoy a cut man, he really does have to be drop dead gorgeous, but those are rare finds. He doesn't limit himself either, to age. He'll salavitate over a 40 year old, as much as a nineteen year old, if they have a lovely uncut penis with lots of foreskin.


Age is a State of Mind